Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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