If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
