I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You don't make any sense
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