yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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