he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
