Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
