Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
