I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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