Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
