she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
