I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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