Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
