i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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