it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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