dude i'm inner monologue high
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
