how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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