You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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