in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
