rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
