I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
