Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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