Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
