so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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