yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
