My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
me + whiskey = a bad person
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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