I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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