drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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