you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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