ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
