you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
