oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I will pee on everything he values.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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