did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I will pee on everything he values.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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