oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
