but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you made out with another girl for some wings
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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