I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
