if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
