p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
