There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize