I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
