okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His nipple licking is glorious
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