In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
