that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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