no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
