we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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