why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
