so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cut my penus on the lid.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
