i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
