It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
