Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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