Nicole vs. Life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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