i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize