he wants to bone in the snuggie
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
