med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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