boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
