Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
