OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
time to smoke my breakfast
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The power of my boobs compel you
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
