How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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