My balls are so social today.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
