Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
