Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
