4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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